Mostly uncategorized. :)

I.M.P.A.K.T. – the successor to Keys Tickets Money —


Did you grow up humming this incantation to yourself whenever you found yourself on the way to the airport?

My dad drilled this into me from an early age and it never failed: with those 3 things in hand, you could catch a flight and when you got there — you’d be OK.

…well that was then, and this is now. The world has changed. We need more stuff to survive for some reason. We need a new list. And to remember the new list can be hard. Enter IMPAKT!

I – ID, passport
M – Money
P – Phone
A – Adaptors, chargers
K – Keys, keyfobs for logging in to things
T – Tickets

There you go, it’s all you need to survive. Knock yourself out.

PS: Wear glasses? Try GIMPACKT.

God is a programmer, men and women are his latest release —

If you Google the question ‘Why do men have nipples?’ you’ll find answers which may not satisfy you. They don’t satisfy me.

God is a software programmer (or team of programmers) with an elegant system for releasing and testing software.

Humanity is the latest generation of His Software. Previous iterations run free and continue to evolve via minute and gradual code changes, each one of them allowed to continue to interact with today’s humankind even if they are an older – now inferior – version: monkeys, cats, dogs, worms, amoeba. These deprecated organisms get minor hotfixes to combat new disease (or invent it) but major releases require more direct, divine effort (e.g. the first chicken egg). The mechanism for testing new versions of code is natural selection: i.e. try it in the wild and see if it crashes. Why not? For a deity, death is cheap, even on a massive scale.

Man and woman are each a subset derived from a parent class Human. Their implementation means that they are basically one organism who adapt based on the presence of special flags (amino acids and hormones) in order to assume different roles.

There is some code in Human which says:

if (MaleTrigger)

// ...and always


The MaleTrigger might be a hormone or other trigger like testosterone in the body of a man (or woman) or something else, present in the womb of his mother. Introduction of these male triggers will have the expected effect as coded genetically. Male traits might be triggered at any time (such as increased musculature) by testosterone introduced to the body, when specific clauses of code which test for its presence are activated. Since sexual diversification during growth occurs largely in the womb, based on the sex determined during conception, it’s not possible to change sex via the introduction of a few choice hormones either before or after birth, but we can say already with some degree of certain where the flags for sex and sexuality are first tested and later re-assessed.

During their time in the womb the initial development of Man and Woman is largely the same. Until a compelling reason for them to diverge is presented the two sexes grow in the same way, even after the male has nipples. There is a compelling reason to diverge at some point but a compelling reason also not to diverge until after the nipples are developed; divergence and bespoke differences make software unnecessarily difficult to debug.

Great software development involves compromise. Not every feature can be included all of the time right away and in every version: Change is the enemy of Stability. Taking nipples out, on a molecular level, is just not worth the effort. Avoiding the odd male nipple carcinoma later in a mans’s life (by not having nipples) is outweighed by the over-complication and instability that would be be brought about by changing the course of the foetal development script – which is complex and works well.

God is no fool. Debugging and unravelling masses of code just so man can live without nipples is not worth the effort.

Privacy is dead. —

PRIVACY has quietly and slowly, finally… died.

It’s become dinner table cliché to discuss how mobile phones know our life history and location … we’re all registered on thousands of websites.

For the past fifteen years the price I’ve paid for privacy was the loss of – maybe – the contribution, support, ratification and even commerce from nice (perhaps even great) people around the globe.  Once that was fair compensation.

But the time for silence is over.  With true privacy now almost impossible and so little of me not already computerised and uploaded, the perceived opportunity to remain anonymous is diminished, nay, totally outweighed by the lurking potential to find like-minded peers and healthy competition online.

And so, less reluctantly than I’d expect, I’ve come to publish my thoughts here.  Perhaps no one is listening? …in which case I’ve lost nothing.  But if you do care, or have ever struggled like me, I’d like to hear from you.